When I grow up...
This phrase echoes through my mind more often than you would think for a 34 year old woman. Somehow I still hold in my mind the idea that there is a stage at which I will feel "all grown up." Perhaps it is an indication of my sense that anything is still possible and I have simply not stepped into my destiny yet. Yesterday and today I have been in Taos, exploring like a tourist. In two distinct moments I heard myself uttering this phrase, "When I grow up..." Once was in a playground that was attached to the back of a toy store. It was no ordinary playground, it was an ultimate playground. There were twirly gigs spinning everywhere in the wind, a play structure that had tunnels, slides, balls, everything to stimulate the body. But best of all there were musical instruments all around the walls. I picked up a shovel and started to bang on a xylophone made from wrenches and then my favorite, one hanging from an arch made from wooden blocks. When I grow up I want something like this in my backyard. Kids? I don't know but I know I want the playful, the frivolous, the inspiration of a space filled with magical moments waiting for someone to pick up a shovel. Then again, later in the day, when we arrived at our home for the night, The Mabel Dodge Lujan House, and I was wandering about awe struck I came to a kitchen table. Again no ordinary table. It was huge, bigger than a bed, all wood. Looking at it I instantly went back to my childhood playing cards at the table while my mother cooked, to a fantasy I have of lots of women around a shared space cooking, making, talking. I want a table like that when I grow up. I want a kitchen where people gather when I grow up. I want the family in my mind. May these moments plant in me like seeds, change and grow into the creation of beauty in the spaces around me. I don't ever want to stop waiting to grow up...
No comments:
Post a Comment